Big decisions ahead...

So I feel like I need to blog tonight, there has been a lot going on in life... I have certain feelings that I need to put down so that I can always remember them. As most of you know the last few years have been challenging for me. Most of those challenges were brought on because of the decisions I had made and the paths that I had chose to go down. A year ago I was planning a wedding for myself and Wes, a few days before the wedding he called it off and told me he couldn't go through with it. I was devastated and for months I had a hard time figuring out what my life was going to be like. I spent a long time feeling sorry for myself and wondering "what if" on many things, I dwelt on what was supposed to be rather than what my life was. I still hurt sometimes but after tonight I now see why things happen the way they did. I can't say that I thank Wes yet, I still miss my best friend, but I know that the Lord had a greater calling for me at this time in my life. I have decided to go serve the Lord and serve a mission. I have a lot of preparing and praying to do but for the first time in a long time I feel like this is right. I haven't felt this feeling in a long time. I blame President Johnson for putting the thought of a mission into my head, but I am very grateful for him planting the seed. I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now and I tried to talk myself out of it feeling right... I met with Bishop Olson tonight, I didn't tell him what I wanted to meet with him about but when I sat down with him he started asking me about my family, if I was dating, what I had been up to in the previous months before I had moved back to Cottonwood. He then asked me if I knew why he wanted to meet with me, baffled because I scheduled the appointment I told him I didn't know but I had some reasons as to why I had wanted to meet with him. I then thought, "he's going to give me a calling," not that that would be a bad thing, but I really wanted to focus on talking about a mission. He proceeded to tell me that when he heard and saw that I was moving back he had an overwhelming feeling to talk to me about serving a mission. Right away I cried, I bawled like a baby but I know without a shadow of a doubt that Bishop Olson is called of God and he knows the things I needed to hear tonight. I know that for a while there I was on the wrong path but I am so excited to take my experiences out there and share my testimony with those who are willing to hear it. I am so excited for this chapter in my life, it's a chapter I never saw coming but I know that this is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do right now. I love you all and am so grateful for all the great examples I have in my life. I have a lot of big decisions to make in the following months but I am excited for the challenge!!