Holy moly

Ok, seriously I feel like I have blessing upon blessing rain down on me in the last month. Last month I met with the bishop and talked about going on a mission. I was so absolutely positive that it was what I was going to do, but about weeks ago I got a call that I have been waiting for since February from Navajo County Sheriff's Office saying that the dispatch job I applied and tested for months ago, and I got the job!! I was a little overwhelmed, ok that's a lie, I was way overwhelmed at first by everything... I had a few break downs, I've cried more in the last two weeks than I have in a year combined it feels like. I accepted the job out in Holbrook and will be done with my job here in Cottonwood on the 17th and hope to be moved out there no later than the 19th! I am so very excited for this new chapter in my life and to see where it will take me. This has been something that I have wanted to do for a long time but there was always something holding me back. The only thing that would hold me back at this point would be myself. I am determined to go out there and prove to myself and people who think I can't do it, that I can and I will. It will be a challenge I suspect but something that I have to do for myself mostly. I need to focus on me and doing what's best for me and not everyone else. I also feel like this is something that I have to do for Tara and Will. They are expecting their 5th baby in December, they have a lot going on with Sawyer and I feel that it is much needed for them to not have to worry about one more person. They need to focus on their family and getting things back to normal. I am so very grateful for my family and friends who have been there for me this last year, it has almost been a year to date since I thought my life was over. My life never ended, that chapter closed and I have opened many new ones since. This will be the best yet. I will miss the kiddos, I love being able to see them every day but I have to go do this. I feel like at this point in my life it is necessary. I will keep every one posted on what's going on in Holbrook and maybe once I get all moved in and everything I will take some pictures of the new place and post them... Until then!!

Big decisions ahead...

So I feel like I need to blog tonight, there has been a lot going on in life... I have certain feelings that I need to put down so that I can always remember them. As most of you know the last few years have been challenging for me. Most of those challenges were brought on because of the decisions I had made and the paths that I had chose to go down. A year ago I was planning a wedding for myself and Wes, a few days before the wedding he called it off and told me he couldn't go through with it. I was devastated and for months I had a hard time figuring out what my life was going to be like. I spent a long time feeling sorry for myself and wondering "what if" on many things, I dwelt on what was supposed to be rather than what my life was. I still hurt sometimes but after tonight I now see why things happen the way they did. I can't say that I thank Wes yet, I still miss my best friend, but I know that the Lord had a greater calling for me at this time in my life. I have decided to go serve the Lord and serve a mission. I have a lot of preparing and praying to do but for the first time in a long time I feel like this is right. I haven't felt this feeling in a long time. I blame President Johnson for putting the thought of a mission into my head, but I am very grateful for him planting the seed. I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now and I tried to talk myself out of it feeling right... I met with Bishop Olson tonight, I didn't tell him what I wanted to meet with him about but when I sat down with him he started asking me about my family, if I was dating, what I had been up to in the previous months before I had moved back to Cottonwood. He then asked me if I knew why he wanted to meet with me, baffled because I scheduled the appointment I told him I didn't know but I had some reasons as to why I had wanted to meet with him. I then thought, "he's going to give me a calling," not that that would be a bad thing, but I really wanted to focus on talking about a mission. He proceeded to tell me that when he heard and saw that I was moving back he had an overwhelming feeling to talk to me about serving a mission. Right away I cried, I bawled like a baby but I know without a shadow of a doubt that Bishop Olson is called of God and he knows the things I needed to hear tonight. I know that for a while there I was on the wrong path but I am so excited to take my experiences out there and share my testimony with those who are willing to hear it. I am so excited for this chapter in my life, it's a chapter I never saw coming but I know that this is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do right now. I love you all and am so grateful for all the great examples I have in my life. I have a lot of big decisions to make in the following months but I am excited for the challenge!!

Tons of fun

These last couple months have been interesting, I moved to Snowflake and recently finished all my testing to become a 911 dispatcher... It was a lot of work but well worth it, so hopefully they have a position open up sooner rather than later. Since I have been here I started kind of seeing a guy, I don't want to say much about it right now because things are still up in the air with us... All you need to know is he is amazing and treats me like a princess.

This last week has been somewhat of a challenge for me... Wednesday I had my last round of testing, which always seems to stress me out more than I like to admit. I was on my to Holbrook and my stomach was in knots and doing flips, I thought I was going to lose it. I had to take a CVST (controlled voice stress analysis test) which is kind of like a lie detector test. They had me fill out 192 yes and no questions about my life like if I have ever used drugs or what is the worst crime I have ever committed and didn't get caught. They ask you some pretty personal things and I thought that was it... I was wrong, then they hook a microphone up to you and ask you 19 questions and from what the guy says when you lie your vocal cords send out a different pitch that you can't hear. I did pass, thank goodness, I didn't have anything to lie about but it was scary... So, overall could have been a really bad day but turned out pretty good because I passed my test... Then Thursday morning I wake up and I'm freezing, like down to the bone... I put a second comforter on and I still can't seem to warm up, on top of it I hurt everywhere!! Every muscle in my body aches and one side of my throat hurts. I slept the majority of the day, no joke, I woke up to take a shower and went right back to sleep. Over night, I had full on strep. I ended up going to the hospital for it because my tonsils were so swollen I couldn't eat. I sent Mom a picture of my tonsils (which I would totally post, but it's extremely nasty) she called me and told me I needed to go to the hospital. Tara said the same thing... So off to Showlow I went, three and a half hours later I was pumped full of 2 liters of IV fluids, antibiotics, steroids and pain medication. I felt worse when I left than when I went in... Yesterday, the swelling went down tremendously, I was ready to go hiking (no, not really) and today not so much... They're swollen again, not too bad but they hurt and I'm exhausted!! I am continuing to take the medication they prescribed me but I want to feel better today. The doctor who saw me asked me how I was breathing when I went in... I looked at her and said, "Very carefully". I think I stumped them, but they all looked at me like I had some weird disease and I should be quarantined... For now, I am taking it easy, sleeping a ton and lounging around. I haven't done my hair in days, I'm kind of diggin' it... Haha... That's the update on my life!! It's a good time, I miss my family and friends like crazy!! Love you guys!!